Why They Hate Bikers

I finally got ahold of a good bike a few days ago. She's a blue beaut! I got the trappings today, and I'm starting to get my balance. My roommate took me to a bike shop near our house. I ended up getting in front of her, which, in retrospect, was a terrible idea, because I was thinking of a completely different bike shop. Imagine my state of mind as I came to the fateful and frightfully busy intersection after a long, hot day serving ice cream and fucking sandwiches. Intersections with stoplights are awful when one is still figuring out how to stop without falling over. I had to make a giant left turn from the far right side of the road through late afternoon traffic. The light said go, but by going I cut a swathe bigger than a biker should, and according to my roommate, cars had to swerve out of my way. Once committing this obnoxious act, I continued to pedal hard down the block, until I slowed enough at the next light to see if she was behind me. Of course she was nowhere in sight, so I hauled my dumb ass up onto the sidewalk to get my phone and regain contact with her. After that, I had to walk my blue beauty bike back up the block to the place I had just blazed through where she was waiting at the bike shop itself. The guy behind the counter had seen the whole thing, so I felt like a total ass. But he seemed to think I was pretty groovy, which was all right, I guess. I felt like even more of an ass when my roomie's friend (who is an avid biker) emailed me wondering why I tried to kill myself.

If you see a biker do something stupid, he or she might either simply be an asshole and/or a total fucking n00b. Have a heart, though. I am pretty sorry to all those drivers I probably pissed off, and I hope they don't beat the shit out of me if ever we cross paths again.