A Formal List Of Complaints

Or, A Few Of My Pet Peeves:

1. People who wear sunglasses indoors. Particularly men. In general, it's kind've rude; to me, it's roughly equivalent to strenuously avoiding eye contact, or talking on your cell phone while I'm trying to take your order. This is something that really only bothers me at work, especially when creepy men stare at my tits behind their tinted shades.

2. Those annoying white college women who are so incredibly bubbly that they talk as if they were so far beyond stupid that they are actually retarded.

3. Children. Specifically, parents. No, your child is not cute or endearing to me. Your child needs a swift kick in the butt and you need to learn how to administer it.

4. Dog owners. Get over yourself! Your dog's a total asshole and so are you! Hey, your big, scary dog is barking really loudly and running toward me; please do not laugh and make it seem like he's just being a big sweetie, because he's not, he's actually scaring the shit out of me.

5. Evasive dudes who, for some reason completely unbeknownst to me, cannot simply up and tell you what's going on. For everybody who thinks men can't take hints, believe me, women can't either. Give it to me straight up, like whiskey and gin, motherfucker.

6. People who don't understand my aversion to beer. It tastes like piss! Worse than piss! Why do I need more justification??

7. TV!! Who gives a shit about these people? Most of the shows I see nowadays are either about people who are famous for no reason, or people who are completely unremarkable trying to make themselves famous through reality tv. What the FUCK. Nobody CARES about you, nobody gives a shit which bachelor you pick, they're all fucking idiots. Who are these people trying to be that they require an audience?

And if you're starting to wonder, yes, it's the moon cycle. I am full of anger and hatred and unreasonable rage.


Work Wok Werk

Mein Gott, last night there was a solid wall of people for almost three hours. Luckily the last hour or so was comparatively slow, so me and the other guy caught up with all our closing duties and what have you. He's pretty rad, keeps cool in a rush. I keep pretty cool I guess, except I have a tendency when I start doing about ten things at once and overlappingly to swear emphatically and long under my breath. Plus I find it difficult to be as friendly as usual with the customers, ESPECIALLY when they stand and take forever deciding while there are many others who need help right away. Please, if you're not sure yet, tell me it's okay to go and help someone else, or at least make a more sincere effort to hurry the fuck up.

Boy, people on yelp.com can be total assholes. I know a dentist who knows another dentist who's mixed up in a lawsuit because some fuckwad wrote a bad review and lied about shit that went down. A lot of people believed this loser, though most had probably no reason to, and backed him up. Similarly, people write bad reviews about us, and, though I believe they do usually tell the truth, what they say is incredibly one-sided. They come in one time, receive shitty service, and think it's the end of the world. Never mind that, should they come in again, OMIGOD, the people behind the counter are different! You can't judge a place's service based on ONE person who served you ONE TIME. Doesn't anyone remember doing science labs in high school? You have to do the experiment more than once to prove your hypothesis. Dummy.

Par example, mes amis, there's a little place near my work that serves Asian sweets and goodies. Their food is great, the place is cute, but every time I go there, I am treated with indifference that borders on scorn. I've been there enough times to realize this is a consistent thing, but not enough that you could say I'm into S/M and like being treated badly. Point being, I held off judging them too harshly until I went there enough to see the pattern. I'll still go there every once in a long while, though, because I do like their stuff. I'm not one of those people who lets bad service ruin every other good thing about a place.